Why is it so hard to watch TV with CPTSD? Boxsets I could actually watch.
With CPTSD I found it very difficult to watch anything new on television, I didn’t have the capacity to follow or concentrate, and there was comfort in watching reruns of SATC or the Gilmore Girls.
But as Court progressed the adrenaline fatigue kicked in. The adrenaline I’d burn through in the days leading up to, and facing in Coury left my physically fatigued. Each time the adrenal fatigue would last longer, and each time I panicked I’d never recover, but I did. Acupuncture got me through, as well as immersing myself in the lives of the Walkers and Grey Sloan.
No 1. Brothers and Sisters: I’d watched it previously, but the comforting lives of the Walkers, Rob Lowe and a thread of Justin’s PTSD was just the best.
No. 2. Greys Anatomy: Patrick Dempsey and portrayals of PTSD that I could relate too. Seeing how others coped with PTSD, triggers and alcohol abuse was comforting. If you’ve watched it, you’ll know that it doesn’t permeate the series, but it’s there and highly addictive. These were days where I longed to be in a hospital bed, so I didn’t have to think, do, or be.
No. 3. Private Practice: I think I loved this as much as Grey’s, the spin off series of Grey’s. I wasn’t prepared to love it as much as I did, a touch of PTSD too.
No.4. My youngest and I had Modern Family on repeat for a year. We never got tired of it. And it is the holy grail when you find something you can both watch together.
No.5. Pure easy watching, The Bold Type. Not in the same league as SATC but easy watching with good clothes.
The Good Wife. Not on the list for CPTSD watching, however Alicia Florrick was right by my side in Court. I channelled Alicia only too well on the goblets of red wine at the time, but I did also try to match her Court aesthetic and her composure, even if not always achieved.
It was one of my markers of recovery, to aim to be able to sit, on my own, no wine, nothing, and watch TV. And I have to say I really appreciate it, I don’t take it for granted. I might not have much time to do so, but to have the concentration and calm to sit is a big life goal achieved.
