And another of ‘those’ weeks…

I’ve just been out for a dog walk… and am now covered in bird shit, it is supposed to be lucky, but all over my shirt, my hair although thankfully my baseball hat was saved. It just really sums up the week, I think.

This week, Lola’s been suspended for forwarding on porn she had been sent on snapchat to another child. The headteacher clearly took great pleasure in calling to tell me she was suspended for five days—after I’d forced that same headteacher to apologise to her only a couple of weeks ago. The Head had really procrastinated on the apology but I insisted as she had said “boys will be boys” in response to sex clams made on Snapchat.

So now she’s suspended for five days when her attendance is already at 48%. We got the call 10 mins after she left therapy and she is in a really critical part of her trauma therapy—actually delving right back into what he did. Which is immense.

So in some ways, maybe it’s good she’s not in school. She’s got time to process the trauma without the panic that going to school brings.

Meanwhile, Coco has suddenly decided she wants to see her dad. She hasn’t seen him in a year. She was really scared about telling me—thought I’d be angry.  so now I need to contact him to see if he’ll meet up with her. I’m sure he will… although I don’t know why I’m saying that, because I’m not actually sure.

I’ve reminded her to stay mindful—how it makes her feel, the affect on her concentration, the lack of sleep, the anger, all of it. But if she wants to see him, I have to support her. It’s her way of processing and understanding who he is. Maybe she’s missing having a father figure. 

And on top of all that—this week, the house sold. Very excited, at last. I’ve started looking at a couple of houses, which is brilliant. But within that, I’m waiting to see if I can stay on my work contract, which is fragile—because I work with two psychopaths who gaslight and bully.

So while moving is exciting, I need to do it as soon as possible—while I’ve still got a job.

All in all, that’s probably why I feel ill. I missed going out last night - Soho for a friends birthday - but actually I felt fine about not going.

I think I just need peace, quiet, my own space to catch up.

It’s just been a big few weeks—lots of elements.

But I haven’t drunk, so that’s good. That’s positive. I’m pleased about that.

I’m also pleased about this dog walk—even though I’m covered in bad poo—but it’s sunny. And that’s something. First proper spring day of the year, and that always makes things feel better.

The sun is here.